Like, guys. Sparta was so kick ASS sometimes when it came to women. Spartan women were given these small knives so that if their husbands came home and tried to hit them or assault them, they had a weapon within reach. That weapon was for CUTTING THEIR HUSBANDS’ FUCKING FACES so that when he went out in public everyone would know he was an asshole, abusing jerkface and they would publicly shame him.
LET’S JUST TALK ABOUT SPARTAN WOMEN FOR A SECOND.
In Sparta, women could own land and were considered citizens. THAT IS A HUGE BIG FUCKING DEAL. Why? Because that was RARE AS FUCK and there are lots of places TODAY where women don’t even get that much.
Divorce was totally fine, and a woman could expect to keep her own wealth and get custody of the kids because paternal lineage wasn’t very important. And it didn’t make her a pariah! She could totally remarry, no big deal at all.
Spartan women participated in some fuckin’ badass sporting events, too. And because they were expected to be as physically fit as the Spartan menfolk (who all had to serve compulsory military duties, btw, and couldn’t marry until they finished them at thirty) they didn’t have time for lots of swishy dresses. So they wore notoriously short skirts. According to some accounts, their thighs were visible at all times. HOLY SHIT.
Also, In Sparta men only got their names on their graves if they died in battle. And women? Women only got their names on their graves if they died in childbirth. THE SPARTANS COMPARED CHILDBIRTH TO FUCKING BATTLE AND IT WAS VIEWED AS A GODDAMN BADASS AND HONORABLE WAY TO GO OUT.
FUCKING SPARTAN WOMEN. THIS DUDE HAD FUCKIN’ BETTER MAKE SURE SHE’S COOL WITH WHATEVER HE’S DOING, IF HE KNOWS WHAT’S FUCKIN’ GOOD FOR HIM.
Awesome Celebrity of the Day: Christian Bale’s Summer of Being Awesome continues with a heartwarming story out of Ohio. Four-year-old Jayden Barber, who has terminal bone cancer, received a superhero welcome August 23rd in his hometown of Boardman Township, complete with a Bat Signal, Bat Mobile — in the form of a $200,000 Maserati — and an appearance by the caped crusader himself.
In even more awesome news, Jayden’s cancer has since been declared to be in remission, which allowed the big screen Batman to fly him out to Disneyland — a trip which included lunch at the exclusive Club 33.
Surprise Visit of the Day: Christian Bale has arrived at Aurora, CO’s Swedish Medical Center to visit many of the recovering victims of last week’s tragic shooting.
A movement has been circulating on social media networks for Bale to appear as Batman, but it seems the actor made a tasteful choice to leave the cape and cowl at home. More pictures of the visit can be seen here.